Saturday, December 17, 2011


Well, as the song goes: "ooh what a night"! Last night at the ER's Christmas party at the Roundthorn Mr Wade Tidbury was elected ( browbeaten) as our Pantomime dame for the night. The Heaviside girls (with a bit of help) quickly transformed him from a, lets be honest, reasonable looking sort of bloke, into what I can only call the SEXIEST PANTOMIME WIDOW TWANKEY THAT I HAVE EVER SET EYES ON!

You may think I'm exaggerating, but you would know if you had been there. Fromthe pout of his 'rosebud' lips to the tips of his sprout sized nipples ( we know this to be true, as they really were sprouts sellotaped onto his giant boobies (balloons)), he became a real head turner. When he sat on my knee, I was almost overcome with desire( desire for him to get off me actually as hes a heavier lad, sorry lass, than he looks!)

I hope somewhere there will be pictures of this vision of beauty. Forget Botox, nips and tucks, all you need ladies ( and, sadly, gentlemen) is two balloons, some vegetables, bits of decorations, a belt or two! A bit of makeup and lippy and a few willing helpers, to transform you into the 'woman you never kne you were'! It worked for Wade..........

Thanks for the memories lovergirl XX

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Windmills and Pies – or – “Wade’s grand adventure”.

Penrith Rugby Club, 8am wet and windy on a Sunday morning, what better way to end the weekend than a trip down south to sunny Ulverston? Well, it would have been an 8am start if Wade had not had to endure the worst the weather could have thrown at Kirkoswald not an hour before and skating vehicles sans driver…Enough to prepare anyone’s heart rate for a 10k run.

So those of us with nothing better to do on a Sunday morning in December (like putting up decorations, buying trees or replacing tiny light bulbs) piled into the new “team bus” (Mike B, Paul S and myself) and discussed what comes naturally – our desired times from the days excursion. Wade had other things on his mind – namely new team colours (I think hot pink was the favourite) combined with a local sponsor.. All suggestions were food orientated, from Cranstons to Greggs and finishing with Town Head Chippy “We eat chips and we’re still in front of you” a good motivator for every other club runner if ever there was one… Even the sights of the wind turbines in full flow alongside the motorway couldn’t distract him from his creative leanings. I think the poor lad is hungry..

Arriving in Ulverston, after a slight detour or two to locate the sports centre, and fabulously early, we met Kevin W, who had taken a more scenic route through the Lakes and was not hampered by the snow.

The wind was always going to be a factor on this flat, almost coastal route – well, after the Krypton Factor experience Paul had in attempting (3 attempts) to get his vest on correctly prior to starting.. yet amazingly the rain held off for the duration of the run. 50m after the start I waved goodbye to Mike’s, Paul’s and Wade’s disappearing backs and attempted to settle into a rhythm while aiming to pick off some of the competition. The competition obviously had other ideas, namely being to finish quicker than me!

Well marshalled through the temporary road works and even into Ulverston Priory grounds (where a glimpse of the Buddhist temple could be had), the route threw up no real surprises or difficult areas and in slightly better weather conditions is definitely a route for PB claiming.

Things were not going too badly until mile 5 when a stitch hit, which I blame for eventually being 12 seconds over my aimed for time, not even a sprint finish (no elbows) could redeem it! Shouted in by Mike, Paul and Wade helped though, and I barely had time to pick up my free xmas pud and turn around before we all then cheered Kevin into the finish, a decent effort by all involved, especially by Mike who had just done 10 miles the previous day (his idea of a good warm up for a 10k?). Charlie Lowther left us all standing, being far too efficient in the scheme of things, but putting an Eden Runner in the top 20.

Some good soup from the Hoad Hill supporters and pudding to take home made a worthwhile trip, home and showered now, and as I write this it’s starting to snow… Lovely… Here’s to Christmas!

Words by Nicola G